There are two main philosophies

on how to put ruffled potato chips

into a bowl of French onion dip.

Those that take the chip

and dive down into the dip

grab a huge chunk and leave

are called Gougers.

Those who take the chip

and skim over the top of the French onion dip

leaving behind a smooth, glassy surface

are called Smoothers.

Gougers leave potholes

that Smoothers must fill over,

Smoothers flatten out the bumpy landscape

that Gougers create.

Smoothers call Gougers vicious animals

Gougers call Smoothers anal and uptight.

The only solution that offers peace between

Gougers and Smoothers

is so very simple.

Two bowls of French onion dip,

one for Gougers and

one for Smoothers.

The question now is …

who gets the chips?